My brother and I share very interesting/lame/ridiculous conversations, all the time.

Just yesterday, my bro's form teacher called my mum up and complained about him skipping detention. So, he called me up the minute he received the 'life-threatening' call from my mum and he thought he might just seek help from me.

Bro: Jie, save me! Mummy is very very angry with me now that I think she's going to kill me.
Me: How come? What did you do again?
Bro: My form teacher called her and complained that I skipped detention.
Me: Then why did you skip your detention in the first place?
Bro: I don't like my teacher because he behaves like a gay. And, I've already finished my work. Then now how? Help me leh! I don't want to die.
Me: Just go home.
Bro: Then? You help me tell mummy?
Me: No. Just go home and wait for her to kill you then. No choice la.

- Hang up -


This afternoon while we were getting drinks from NTUC. Suddenly, there was this stench.

Me: Wtf, so smelly. Confirm got indians nearby.

Bro: How you know?

- Raised my head and YES I was right -
Me: SEE, I TOLD YOU.
Bro: You damn racist leh. Why you don't like indians?

Me: Because they are smelly.
Bro: I'm also very smelly after trainings.
Me: That's why I don't like you what.

My brother called me up to seek help on his book review which due tomorrow.

Bro: Jie, help me leh. My book review due tomorrow leh.
Me: Then how you want me to help you?!
Bro: Got any quickest way to do book review? The book got 200pages leh. How to do by tonight?!
Me: Read at 1 page per min and write at 1 word per second.
Bro: HUH? HOW?!
Me: Precisely! How! Then who do you think I am? GOD?!

PS: I'm racist, so shut up. If you don't enjoy reading, then just don't read!