Before I could even realize, it's already now November. So, up next it's December, the month I dreaded most. Because December is the last month of the year, and it spells ending. The end of the year and a closure to everything. Just so you know, I hate endings.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the left over days of 2009 will go by slowly. It's not that I'm not anticipating 2010, but I just kinda don't wish that 2009 will come to an end so soon. It's been a great rewarding year so far and I know there are many more things for me to achieve in 2010. Alright, I know it's not the time yet to be writing a reflection for 2009, and I was just saying I hope 2009 will be a longer one. Well, it's just self-deception, it's always a far cry from reality.

There are too many unexpected events happened over the past month, both positive and negative ones. Still, I'm glad that it all happened. I made major decisions, started something and ended something. Frankly speaking, I've not quite figured out my feelings on these issues. I guess it's not that important anymore, since everything just happened so.

Someone once told me 'Everything happened for a reason, give me a reason for this/so what's your reason?' Well, I do know that very well. Even when everything happened for a reason, I don't think I owed anyone an answer/explanation more than myself. In events that I, myself, have yet to figure things out, so who are you to demand an answer from me? Like all human beings, I need time to digest and look for solutions and times that I can't find solutions, I give up. Can't blame me, I've got only a heart and a brain, there's a limit how much I can take and go on.

If I said I absolutely loathe endings, imagine the misery I've gone through to call it quits.

I didn't cry because it ended, but because I ended this.